The trouble with Jari
By Monsignor Bonehead and Bryan Walker, Issue
55, Winter 2002
Writing these pieces is all about timing. It's
very easy to work yourself up into writing a diatribe
after letting another home banker slip by, but
less so just after we tanked Leeds 4-0. However,
the pessimist in me never quite believes these
upsurges in form - there's surely another kick
in the balls around the corner. So while Heskey
is finally justifying the unbelievable faith shown
in him, I still have to ask - why in the name
of God can we not play Jari Litmanen a bit more?
I'm in danger here of repeating many of the moans
in the last issue, and probably quite a few of
the moans in this issue too. Let's face it, the
style of play is becoming a bit embarrassing.
I remember Pegguy playing for Leicester at Anfield
one time and he actually seemed to be aiming for
touch with each kick, rugby style. How long before
that one's introduced? Any team that can repeatedly
try Heskey at right-wing because he's bigger than
the full-back hasn't much further to fall. (I
presume Xavier is being bought as cover on the
right-wing when Emile's injured or needed elsewhere).
The distribution from the back seems to be based
on the Jack Charlton coaching manual, and surely
Jerzy's recent 'groin strain' is merely Repetitive
Strain Injury from launching Jamie C's back passes.
Incidentally, am I alone in feeling that Jamie
was merely trying to knock the infamous coin down
the line to Riise? If the midfield have ever heard
the phrase 'Pass & Move' it seems it was only
on a single a few years ago. Meanwhile, the forwards
chase nothing balls all day. I feel sorry for
Anelka, who seems to be trying hard but has so
far received sod all service - if he used to think
that the Arsenal players were slow to pass to
him what is he making of our lot? We've become
what the legions of detractors say we are - ever
so slightly dull. In all honesty, if you weren't
a Red, would you look forward to seeing us on
the box again?
Into this side, occasionally, comes Jari. More
often than not, we're a different side. He drops
deep, he looks for the ball, he can control it,
he can use it. Anyone who has played football
at even the lowest level (a level I've become
very used to) knows that you are a lot more likely
to make a run if there's a half-chance of getting
the ball. When Jari gets on the ball, the other
players know that the right run will be spotted,
and there's at least a chance of seeing the ball.
They also know, praise the Lord, that there's
no point in launching balls at his head. He seems
to get the ball to feet, and in this one player
we become a team who can pass the ball, hold on
to the ball, and bide their time. Unlike many
touch players (and Everton's new signing Daveeed
springs to mind here), everything he does is for
the team, not showboating for the sake of it.
To use SK's word in issue 54 on the same player,
every trick and shimmy is functional, never just
to show off.
The treatment of Jari this season has been extraordinary,
and was summed up for me in one shot on ITV's
rightly derided Premiership show from a few weeks
back. Some friends and I were sitting in a pub
in Chester on the way back from the 1-1 with Southampton.
A game crying out for someone to get hold of the
ball, show a bit of invention. Anyway, Jari wasn't
even on the bench for this one, and I've no idea
why. During the highlights, the camera pans to
the Main Stand to show him sitting beside Kenny,
neither looking too impressed with what they're
looking at. Christ knows what the conversation
between these two consisted of. Kenny: "We
used to play football here" or perhaps Jari:
"I'm even worse than Smicer, apparently".
Who could put up with treatment like this? Our
hero starts against Spurs, and scores the only
goal. He starts the following game, and scores
the only goal. In both games he has fans drooling
at some of the touches. Naturally, he gets dropped
for the next one, and gets recalled for the best-forgotten
Grimsby game. The most naturally talented player
at the club then starts one of the next twelve
(yes, TWELVE) games. You wouldn't treat a dog
this way. As SK said in 54, some of us believed
that the one silver lining that Robbie's departure
had was that at least Jari would play more now.
I'm so gullible, I really believed it. The old
joke says that the word 'gullible' isn't even
in the dictionary - I fell for that one too!
Since God's departure, the sequence has gone:
Played against Middlesbrough, hand in both goals,
dropped. Played against Chelsea, bit of a freak
result, dropped. Comes on against Arsenal and
scores, then puts the pass of the match through
for Berger. Starts against Villa, scores but is
then dropped. In fact, since scoring against Villa
I make it one start in 10 games, and for at least
5 or 6 of those games we didn't even create a
chance, much less score . Why don't we just make
him train with the youth team and be done with
it?
During his (waste of) time in Spain, Jari was
left kicking his heels as an occasional replacement
for Rivaldo, who might just be the best player
in the world on his day. Here, he's lower down
in the pecking order than Emile and Anelka, who
might not be the best in the world. Every other
top team sees the need for a bit of guile along
with the workhorses. United, much as I hate to
say it, have a superb creative midfield. Arsenal's
midfield only really has Pires to do this, so
Wenger always tries to find room for Bergkamp
or Kanu. Chelsea, even with two strikers on fire,
are still trying to squeeze the 35-year-old Zola
into the team. Newcastle, a breath of fresh air
if you ask me, are playing with 2 wingers and
Dyer in the midfield when fit. I do sometimes
feel that if we had got Zidane in our squad we'd
have him in the reserves.
A friend suggested that for this piece I would
dig out the dreaded Opta stats for passes completed
and so on and compare them to Emile's. In the
end I didn't, because I don't feel that this should
ever turn into a Jari v Emile debate. Despite
my ravings above, of course Jari has weaknesses.
He drops so deep at times that he's in danger
of bumping into Henchoz. The goal against Arsenal
is the only header I've seen him win in his year
or so at the club. To even discuss his pace would
be cruel, my mother can run for the bus as quickly.
He isn't godlike every game, Southampton away
he was as poor as most of the others.
And crucially, I remember reading a Simon Kuper
article in the Observer when he joined us which
suggested that he simply isn't physically able
to play 2 games a week all season, something which
he certainly hasn't had to worry about in his
years since Ajax. And Emile, despite his mouldy
form and our purist instincts, has other facets
to his game that all clubs need from time to time:
after his display against the Mancs earlier this
season we simply had to pick him against them
for the return, and he didn't let us down. The
other reason it shouldn't just come down to Jari
v Emile is that it is possible for both of them
to play on the same pitch - is there anyone out
there who doesn't think 3 battlers in midfield
with Litmanen feeding Owen and Heskey might improve
our dismal scoring form at home? We've tried Smicer
in this position at times (Worthington Cup Final
for one) and if that waster can be tried then
why not a real player?
Enough rhetorical questions. One of many exasperating
things about this is the fact that I do not know
one single Red who wouldn't have him in the team
more often. Not one! Watching the West Ham game
after Christmas in a pub over here on the satellite
TV, the place erupted at the sight of Jari coming
on after an hour. I just thought to myself "I'm
not the only one". Every player that joins
a big club these days announces that he's always
been a fan of said club. It's part of the ritual.
The difference here is that when Jari signed,
he was able to name the 84 treble winning side
in a flash. It mightn't sound like much, but I
guarantee you most couldn't do it. He's one of
us! And unless things change beyond belief, the
best player of his type we've had since Beardsley
won't be here for much longer. And after Robbie,
we'll be another hero down.
MONSIGNOR BONEHEAD
I am writing this the day after our 1-1 draw
at West Ham so subsequent events may well have
rendered my thoughts as we go into the New Year
way off beam. Here goes anyway. Basically, I fear
greatly for our chances of lifting the title this
year, and the annoying thing is that it is there
for the taking - it really is. Even after our
recent run of 5 points from a possible 15, we
still have the best record in the league in terms
of points dropped. And yet I am full of dread,
not confidence. The Nicolas Anelka signing certainly
took me by surprise - but my initial thoughts
were, and still are after two games, not strong
one way or the other about him. There is no doubt
the guy has bags of talent (Arsenal have won bugger
all since he left) but he also has baggage. I'm
happy to give him a fair crack of the whip. But
there lies my deepest concern at present - it
seems certain players never get a fair crack of
the whip under the present management.
And when I say the present management, I mean
Gerard Houllier himself as there is absolutely
no doubt in my mind that the team selection and
tactics are still entirely his, despite the admirable
performance of Phil Thompson. My major gripe is
with the treatment of Jari Litmanen. When Jari
plays, we play so much better - the guy is a class
act, an absolute gem. Yet he never seems to play
two games in a row - and when he does start, he
invariably gets substituted. The team selection
at West Ham was baffling. At Villa three days
earlier (regardless of ITV's highlights which
were so far removed from what actually happened
I can scarcely believe it - and clearly the Cockney
Spiv and his sidekick for the day Robbie Earle
[why?] had only watched those highlights) we played
arguably our best football of the season with
Jari at the nub of it all. I must confess I was
apoplectic with rage when Jari was subbed instead
of Vlad who of course went on to score the winner
- so I don't purport to know everything! But the
fact remained that it was Jari who was the key
reason for our much improved showing - not Didi
Hamann, despite what Chris Bascombe wrote in the
Echo (which I shall return to shortly).
So how could Jari have been omitted from the
starting line-up at Upton Park? Thommo said afterwards
that Owen and Gerrard were left on the bench due
to the hectic festive programme - something I
can understand, even if not agree with. But Jari?
He had hardly been pushed to exhaustion this season,
had he? No, the problem lies in the tactics of
the team. Despite the protestations of the management,
Jari is falling into the same trap that did for
Robbie - despite obvious class, he doesn't fit
the brand of one-dimensional football which we
will continue to play. And therein lies the true
reason for signing M. Anelka. He has been brought
in to fill the boots of ton-up St Michael if injury
should strike again (God help us). So what you
can guarantee is that our latest French import
is playing, as a rule it will not be alongside
Owen as he will be out injured or rested. No,
it will be alongside the prolific Emile - one
goal in 25 games at present - and the battering
ram tactics employing the big lummox will continue
ad nauseam. And from what I hear, Milan Baros
is an Emile clone, so there will be no respite
there either. And the end result of all this?
In my humble opinion, our title hopes will lie
in tatters yet again. Please prove me wrong lads
- but somehow I doubt it.
BRYAN WALKER
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