A Midsummer Night’s Dream
From Issue 53, Autumn 2001
I had a horrible dream last night that I became a Blue
I mentioned Heysel all the time and whinged the whole day through
I only went to Derbies and invaded the pitch too
and I was so sad and biiiiiiiiitter.
We’ll lose to crap teams in both cups We’ll lose to crap teams in both cups
We’ll lose to crap teams in both cups and the usual relegation fight fight fight.
Then Nicky Barmby leaves and says he wants to join the best
and now he proudly wears the Liver Bird upon his chest
he scored one in the Derby but so did half the rest
and he’s still laughing aaaaaaaaaat us.
That’s the reason why I left you That’s the reason why I left you
That’s the reason why I left you because you are so shite shite shite.
And in the Worthie Cup I thought the Reds are bound to lose
I’ll be a Brummie for the day and sing up for the Blues
but then I turned the telly on and heard it on the news
now the Reds at work will skiiiiiiiiiit me.
I’ll have to phone in sick tomorrow I’ll have to phone in sick tomorrow
I’ll have to phone in sick tomorrow I think that I just might might might.
But still I thought we’d beat them when we got them to our place
Duncan F will wipe the stupid smiles from off their face
but in injury time we lost because we couldn’t stand the pace
and all the Reds were siiiiiiiiinging.
You can’t even win your final You can’t even win your final
You can’t even win your final the Dogs of War have lost their bite bite bite.
When the FA Cup came round I bought myself an Arsenal hat
When Ljungberg scored I thought the Reds will not come back from that
but Owen pops up twice and leaves me looking like a twat
that’s two cups in one seeeeeeason.
He even scored one with his left foot He even scored one with his left foot
He even scored one with his left foot and the other one with his right right right.
So come the UEFA Cup Final I can’t take too much more
I swear and shout and scream all game and pace around the floor
and then I jump for joy when Jordi Cruyff makes it 4-4
and cry when the Reds get the wiiiiiiiiinner.
I saw the party start in Dortmund I saw the party start in Dortmund
I saw the party start in Dortmund and it went on through the night night night.
But then I woke and felt so glad that it was just a dream
I sat there smiling smugly like the cat who’d got the cream
I’m still a Red and still support the greatest football team
And Liverpool won the treeeeeeble
The bitter Blues are miles behind us, the bitter Blues are miles behind us
the bitter Blues are miles behind us while the Reds march out of sight sight sight.