Issue 70, Autumn 2005
By Steve Kelly
Sorry blah blah. Mid-life crisis blah blah. Winter blah blah. Struggle for contributions blah blah. Next one quicker blah blah. Promises promises blah blah. Same old story blah blah.
I’m not sure I’m cut out for this job any more. I keep having these ‘episodes’ of boredom and they’re getting longer. Then I hear about someone waking up at 6 am to earn their crust and not getting home till 8 pm, think “this isn’t a ‘job’ per se” and knuckle down like the rest of humanity. I probably mentioned the idea of non-football articles before, but got no response.
Letters? Forget it. Pithy responses are the sole preserve of t’Internet these days, and it’s beginning to swipe the long-winded stuff too. That’ll amuse Ian K and Prozac who still haven’t had articles printed from the summer! Next time lads. There are people on the website forum with thousands of posts to their credit and nothing in the actual fanzine. We’ve discussed ways of making the website pay but Gary does all the work and if anyone should get something it’s him. Another newspaper ‘gig’ and I’d seriously consider quitting.
And is it me or has the weather gone schizo? I’ve never known it to rain so much and I can see one or more issues are going to be a washout. I’ve got married men with kids helping me out with the writing and the selling, and while I’m grateful to those loyal few they must be thinking “when is this gonna stop?” It’s a young man’s game guv’ner, and what I wouldn’t give for 6 new writers with Andy C’s vitality and wit. I was like that - once…………
Oh, bollocks to it – let’s talk about the football. The Champions League campaign has gone well, and I’m sure someone will do a Rick-style manipulation of the stats to present the league tally as “an improvement”. We’ve not only had a difficult start, but we’re still two games behind everybody else. The position, as they always seem to say, is a false one. BUT there is a certain amount of unease. I was quite happy to write this year off as a post-Ataturk letdown. With qualifiers, the Super Cup and Tokyo we’ve been handed about a quarter of a season in extra games before Christmas and that’s bound to have an effect.
And then there’s Rafael Benitez. I enjoyed most of the football played at Anfield last year. Add the 6 CL games, and not only did we win a lot we played some inspiring stuff. Away from home we were atrocious, but most fans would have said correct that and leave the home style alone. Ain’t broke, don’t fix etc. Enter Peter Crouch. Blame whoever you like for the current stagnation, but we’ve seen this before: at close quarters with Heskey and across the park with Big Dunc. Footballers are thick. You can tell them “it’s one option” till your tongue aches, but they will still keep walloping it up to The Big Fella.
Rafa made a big deal in the summer about improving fitness, but if anything it’s getting worse. If we are to persist with this style, surely our midfield players have to be superfit in order to provide good support to PC. Chelsea do it with Drogba (check the goal scorers in the 1-4) but whatever our plan is, something is being lost in translation.
The treatment of Cisse is baffling, and is the first real sign of any doubts about Rafa. Man management is vital, and having created tension with the Owen debacle (a straight ‘NO!’ could have solved it) Benitez had to smooth things over with the only striker he has who is hitting the back of the net. The investigation into Auxerre and Djibril’s move has come along at a curious time, and you have to resist the urge to make 2 and 2 equal 4. It’s early days yet, but I’m not overly impressed with Reina either. Does he look like someone who will have a “none shall pass” aura about him? Not yet, certainly.
In a year by year comparison with his predecessor, this is 1999/2000 for Rafa. Back then, Houllier also struggled in the early part of the season and I made a number of sweeping statements about his progress that Autumn too. In his defence, his plan relied heavily on Henchoz and Hamann who weren’t fit until October. Once they got back, things turned around. He also had a rising star in Titi Camara who carried us while Fowler and Owen struggled with injury. Where’s Rafa’s equivalent star? Garcia? Zenden?? Crouch??? Gulp……but I think of Istanbul and I calm down. At some point though, that sheen will wear off. It’s bound to.
The Owen hysteria left me cold. Good riddance, and I didn’t care how many goals he’d score before he joined Newcastle. People are ripping into Parry, and spending £17m would certainly have shone a spotlight on 2004’s fiscal incompetence, but what if we HAD sold him in 2003? There’d have been a riot, and who was going to pay this £20m anyway? United? Chelsea? That would have gone down well! Real bided their time and picked up a bargain. They played the market and that’s what has to be done nowadays – except we’re totally shit at it. Another £7m lost on Cisse, if the signs are being read correctly. To go with the £8m lost on Heskey and God knows how much on Diouf. Another £17m on Owen would have been sheer lunacy, especially with a m! anager who is seemingly manacled to this 4-5-1 system.
Remember how some of us kicked off about Fowler? That turned out in the end to be a good bit of business, and maybe we will regret not having sold Gerrard while the price was ludicrously high. Wonder how Arsenal fans feel about Vieira moving for half what he’d have cost two years ago? They’re flapping about Henry now. It’s all sick of course, but Bosman is the reality nowadays and if the men we have in control can’t get to grips with it they should move aside and let someone else have a go. Where’s the investment that was promised?
I’ve no dispute with the Geordies. I like them, apart from the boneheads in our away end, and if someone ever goes there with real credibility they’ll be a force (title challenges with Keegan and Robson, not exactly coaches of the century!). Such a fuss was made because they were helping with the World Cup effort, and thank God we didn’t get involved in that circus. One self-obsessed national institution at a club is enough.
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